Worst Movie Ever…Take Two

I’m going to do you a favor, dear readers, and give you a two for one discount. As I actually sat and watched these two movies back to back, I feel it is my duty and obligation to the masses of fans to sound the warning bell when it comes to films that are just flat-out awful. I mean, these movies are baddddd…and I don’t mean in the MJ way.

First, let’s start with…

Wake The Witch (2010)

There is so much wrong with this movie, I don’t know where to begin. I will say that for a movie with no story, no interesting plot that goes anywhere, it’s way too long. If you decide to take the time to watch it, please be aware that you will lose almost two hours of your life and you won’t get it back. Scary. I wanted to like this movie, I did. The overall story is three young friends find a chain in the woods and remember the story of the witch who was hung. The legend was that if you followed the chain to the tree where she died, the witch would tell you your future. Sounds great until they get to the end of the chain which only disappears into the ground. Awww, too bad, so sad. What starts out as promising only gets confusing, frustrating and just all out weird from there. Our main character is a terrible actress and a lot of the action is not explained well. I had several questions about the zombie like people roaming around in the park where the girls initially found the chain, but of course those questions were never answered. Skip this one completely, you will be glad that you did.

BreadCrumbs (2011)

At least in BreadCrumbs, you have more action going on than in Wake the Witch. At some points, you might even laugh. But the laughter stops as this movie keeps going. There is almost a Hansel and Gretel feel to BreadCrumbs as a group of actors working in the porn industry travel out to a cottage for filming. Along the way, they nearly run over two siblings in the road, the boy clearly injured. For a while, Crumbs moves along at a good pace, but hits a snag soon with plot development. I got the feeling that the movie attempted to be as creepy as Saw when the girl asks the mother hen of the film group if she wants to play a game. Attempted, but didn’t make the cut. I’m sure that Mike Nichols was going for a very artsy, indie feel for this movie when he directed it, but unfortunately it fell completely flat. While my sympathy for Mother Hen runs out as she is constantly played by the siblings, my patience for the movie itself ran out a lot quicker.

Scream ratings: 2 screams (for both movies…..you gots to do better!)

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