The Duds of 2016

oh, 2016. You just kicked our asses, didn’t you? We lost so many good people this year, this election was NOT it, forest fires, protests…..and bad horror movies. We just got it from all sides this year. As is the norm around this time of year, we have the best and we have the worst of 2016. I will start out with the worst (in my humble opinion) of the movies that I have personally seen and am STILL upset about. (For sake of conversation, these will be movies that were released in 2016.)

the_darkness_poster

The Darkness

I actually went to the theater with my man to see this because the both of us were rather excited about this film. Judging by the trailer, it looked to be in the same vein of Poltergeist and since the remake wasn’t worth the time, I figured that something close to it would be fine. I was so wrong. if you haven’t seen this film, a short summary is that a family (headed by Kevin Bacon) takes a trip to the grand Canyon and end up bringing back a supernatural force. I really hated the way that this movie explained the events happening and the backstory of the supernatural presence because it didn’t actually explain much at all. If you leave with more questions than answers, that’s not a good sign.

most-likely-to_die-poster

Most Likely to Die

Yes. I hear you. Just look at the poster. How could you not go, “Yea, this doesn’t look like a piece of brilliance.” I always try to give films like this a chance, you know, while giving myself an opportunity to find a diamond in the rough. Most Likely to Die is more of a $.25 plastic diamond ring than an actual diamond. While I will give Perez Hilton kudos for his hilarious acting (which was probably not intentional), the rest of the film fell flat. You would have thought that a killer bumping off his old classmates by their “Most Likely to…” tagline from high school would have been the best thing since Sharknado 2, but the kills were unimaginative to say at the least and the whole film came off more comedic than horrific.

fenderbender_hero_1061x515

I really, really wanted to like Fender Bender and in the beginning, I was. While stalking isn’t a new idea in horror, a psycho stalking those he gets into fender benders with is a relatively new concept in the genre and one I hope that we don’t revisit. Once was enough. The characters weren’t exactly likable (save for one) and I had a hard time understanding the logic of the parents of the young girl who ended up stalked by our psycho when they decided to leave her at home after the fender bender took place. Good job, Mom and Dad. How you feel now?

 

little-dead-rotting-hood

No. Just……no. You can just look at that cover and know that you’re in for a bad time.

 

Here’s hoping 2017 is so much better.

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