Stabbed in the Face


I had initially wrote a short review for this film on Horror Amino, but seeing as I haven’t been on my blog in a while (sorry!), I decided to do a longer take on this so that the full impact of my wrath could be felt. Get ready, it’s gonna be a doozie.

Some background notes: I found this pretty much at random on Amazon while shopping for some other movies and I was certainly intrigued. Do you know why? THAT. DAMN. COVER. ART. Every single time. I was mesmerized by it, thinking, “Oh my blood and guts, that..looks…amazing.” Add to cart. We decided to indulge this past weekend and Stabbed was one of the choices that I pushed  for. I personally wanted to see this and once I actually watched it….I never want to see this again as I have several issues with Stabbed in the Face. 

First off, please bear with me if you have read the shorter review on HA as I will be reiterating some of the points only because it bears repeating. Second, if you look up this film on Letterboxd, there is a line in the synopsis that states, “Stabbed in the Face proves that slasher films are ONLY about the boobs, butts and body count.” I can not tell you how much of a problem I have with this line. There’s nothing wrong with boobs, butts and body count, I know we as horror fans live for a bloody good time, but don’t treat us as though we are children who are only impressed with flashing lights and loud noises. Third, if your film is ONLY about boobs, butts and body count, that’s fine and dandy, but you better have a point. A maniacal homicidal killer ONLY goes so far without a reasoning behind the madness. Slasher films are meant to be fun, not degrading to the viewer in the perspective that we ONLY want blood and guts. Did you not see Muck? Don’t go there.

Stabbed let me down in several aspects. The shoddy acting, the unlikable characters, the piss-poor sound editing and quality, the horrible script-writing, I thought I was watching an amateur filmmaker with his first movie right out the gate. (No offense to The Gate though. Sorry.) Come to find out, director Jason Matherne is no stranger to the horror genre, just one to the good type of horror. Harsh, I know, but come tf on. Matherne has directed other fims such as Goregasm and Attack of the Cockface Killer (eh?), so clearly there is a love affair with horror going on and I’m hoping at some point Matherne does his lover right. Side note: Stabbed in the Face was filmed in 2004, but was not released until 2016. One would have thought that with all that time in between, someone would have said, “Maybe we should fix some things.”

All in all, Stabbed in the Face is a huge disappointment. Usually I’m better at spotting the low-budget, B-grade films for what they are and knowing what I’m getting myself into. It’s ok to watch a bad film from time to time, but I almost feel misled with Stabbed. I mean, only one (ONE!) person got stabbed in the face, for Craven’s sake. It will be some time before I decide to visit Matherne’s work again, I have seen that his latest film, Grimewave Cockface III, has received somewhat better reviews, but for now, I will back off and wait. I always have faith in my horror directors/producers that mistakes will be learned from and improvements will be made. If not, then honey, I suggest you prepare yourself to be read the house down and dragged for filth. Do better.




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